FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)

When trying to think what to title my post today I changed it a number of times, I usually don't give that much thought into it but I didn't want to mispreprent what it is I wanted to say today.

If you follow me on twitter or we are friends on facebook, heck if we've spoken in the last couple of weeks, you would know that I have not been in the best headspace. Last week I had something on every single day of the week, so from work I would have to go to one appointment and then rush off to another. I knew it was going to be a hectic couple of days but I honestly did not think my body would give up on me. In Thursday morning, I became ill and it lasted well.... all the way through to today.

I have been saying to anyone who would listen my friends and family that when you're body is shouting at you you should listen. A few weeks ago my skin started acting up and then my hair was falling out and I swaer everything I eat goes straight to my hips but last week was the final straw for me. While I suffered in pain, I thought "If only I had said no to one or two things" my body would have pushed through. Pushed through to what is the question?

The Fear of Missing out hit me bad and then my body hit back which sucks but it has forced me to take a moment (or a week) to decide what am I going to do to change all these things that are affecting my body.

I think it's important for me to remember to say NO when necessary and remember that I need to take a mental time out.

FOMO coupled with the many developments in my life have left me in a bit of a sour place and I am trying really hard not to let the negativity spread.

Now tell me, what do you do to deal with FOMO??? DO you suffer with it or is just me?

Facing Fears : Lady in Red

This may sound really strange to you, whoever "you" are and wherever "you" may be but for the first time EVER! I wore a red dress.

When I was at Hip Hop with a friend he immediately pointed this dress out for the wedding I was attending but my first reaction was "Oh, it's pretty but I do not wear red" he was so puzzled by it and then I tried to mumble my way through it but he didn't really care much about my answer he said the dress was perfect for me.

Either way I told him I wouldn't be buying any dress that day BUT a few days later I went past Hip Hop again, this time with my mother because they were having a sale (and who can say no to a sale?) and I walked in and the dress was there - starring at me so the sales consultant said why don't I just try it on and when I did I have to admit it was pretty beautiful SO I bought it.

BUT then I kept looking for other dresses and making excuse after excuse about perhaps finding another dress for the wedding. I even went back to Hip Hop and tried on several additional dresses and I promise NONE of them looked remotely good. They were either too low, too short, too see-through so a week before the wedding I decided to stop looking for another dress and stick to what  I had. However when I was packing for my trip, I carried additional old dresses in case I wanted another option but when I was getting dressed on Saturday, I realised that God was not merely giving me a sign to face my fear and wear this dress but that he had been shouting at me from every angle that this was the dress for me.

Now, I know this may seem like I am rambling again but the whole point of this post is that I didn't want to wear a red dress because :
1. Red is not a colour I necessarily like on my skin tone. (Unless it's a Liverpool top!)
2. I find red to be a extremely sterotypical of colour of indian people and I hate sterotyping (yes, I am aware that I am contradicting myself)
3. Red dresses attract lots of attention and I don't want to be the lady in red

However, I must say that even once I was dressed on Saturday afternoon I decided I looked good but is it too much? Now, looking back at it... I don't think so, I think it was just perfect!
What do you think?

Help! I just don't get it

I will warn you in advance that I may ramble a bit in today's post.. but that's because it's been one of "those"weeks...
Let me explain : firstly, I fell up the stairs yesterday! SecondlyThe stairs are like fire escape stairs with green paint.. and now my really pretty coral skirt has green paint all over it *sulking*, thirdly I was on my way home and needed to go past the shopping mall but when I got home and my mother called me 20 minutes later to ask me about getting something, I realised I forgot to go to the mall - at all! and lastly.. I've had the most annoying bad hair days - and I won't even explain what my red velvet cupcakes looked like.

Ok, maybe my third issue on the list doesn't sound like much but I am not that person. I am not usually scatter brained so being scatter brained is really annoying me because I feel like I'm on a carousel - moving but getting no where.

Back to my post - there's this guy,  X, who appears to be like a really nice guy. I see him around work and he is always smiling at me and often emails me various chain mails which are then followed up with (in Joey's voice) 'how you doing?' mails. Perhaps maybe Joey's tone is too strong but maybe a more friendly tone. Either way - for a while I have continued to respond to these mails in my usual bubbly tone but not trying to be too engaging because I do not want to lead him on.

However, a (male) friend said that by not actually asking X about his intentions that I am in fact encouraging him because "men like the chase". And if I was to ask X and him to tell me about his intentions I imagine this [Please imagine this awkward conversation]

A few points to note:
1. There is nothing wrong with this guy, he's just not my type.
2. I am not certain I have a type but I do believe in the intial "electricity" and unfortunately for him, we didn't have it. Does number 2 contradict number 1?

Me: X, so... I think you're a great guy (he will want to puke at this stage because no one likes when a conversation starts this way) but I'm not really certain what your intentions are towards me?
X  : Why do you ask?

Now the conversation can go one of two ways:

Picture

Option 1
Me: Well, you send me a lot of emails and are constantly trying to engage me into conversations and I get a certain vibe... *awkward silence*...
X : Well, I'm just a friendly guy, maybe you're the one with mixed intentions?
Me: Um, no, it's just that sometimes when you look at me, it feels like you would move heaven and earth if I asked and that makes me think that you like me more than just a friend because well... most friends don't care if I want earth to move
X : Natalie, I think you are projecting your feelings onto me - what are your intentions?


Option 2:
X :Well, I kind of think you're awesome and would like to see where things could go between us
Me: Well, I'm not sure (although I am sure) because I don't really see us as a couple.
X  : Why?
Me:.......................................because I don't see it.

Then I imagine things getting really weird between us and because unfortunately I don't do very well at a medium - I am either really fun and bubbly or really stand offish I forsee things becoming awkard and I don't know how to handle it! Do you?

Have you had to deal with a situation like this? What should I do? I don't want to be mean to X or anyone but I'm not sure what I can do. I don't want to be chased by him.

PS: I warned you there would be rambling...