Tuesday, 15 November 2016

By Thirty You Should... blah blah blah

I turn 30 years old in the next few weeks. Technically, next year, like ten weeks from now. It almost physically pains me to say that not just the back ache that must be coming with age (or actually the nasty fall I had a couple of years ago) but emotionally pains me. When people meet me or whenever I mention my age people are always shocked to find out my age. Most would say "What? You look about 23".I know a lot of people say things like this to be kind but I genuinely believe them because I think I just stopped aging around 23 (can this please hold off for the next 20 years! I feel like one day I'll wake up and realize how time has finally caught up with me and I went from a 29 year old looking 23 to a 29 year old who looks 40! Then I have a mini monologue prepared for myself wherein I remind myself that both my parents and all my grandparents have aged gracefully and I use sunblock so surely, I should be able to age a very slow but beautiful pace, right?

I digress. What I intended discussing in this post is that I watched my closest friends and cousins turn the BIG 3-0 and all of them went through slight panic attacks regardless of what stage of their lives they were in. Now, now, I went through my quarter life crisis at 25 and it was tough but this feels different and although I thought I was avoiding the usual 30s paranoia of "is my life good enough?" I find myself reading or pinning almost every article there is to offer about how you should be doing by the time you hit 30.

To be honest, I am not doing that badly considering the global standard of what life should be like at (almost) 30 in the emotional/financial realm. Where I am lacking is the physical (I still can't do a yoga head stand) or the family department (still single and childless here) but then I had this epiphany we'll call it... who the hell cares if I am as fit as JLo is at 40 plus or whether or not I'm on tinder or not or if I have managed to make it to this milestone without falling pregnant "accidentally" or not. My 26 year old cousin didn't even get a shot at getting to 30 so why should I complain about the things that I have not yet done or the goals I have not accomplished when I can celebrate just getting through my twenties which no one is guaranteed to do?

Please don't misunderstand me when I say "who cares?" have goals, smash them out of the park BUT don't feel depleted by the fact that you are not "where you are supposed to be".  The lesson I've been learning (and I'm still trying to get better at it) is to not get caught up in where I am supposed to be or who I am supposed to be or what I should have been able to do by now but rather,  I ask myself these questions;
1. Are you happy, all things considered, with who you are?
2. Are other people happier when you are round?
3. Are you making healthier choices for yourself?

Most days I just need two "yes" answers to know I'm doing okay. 

I may be oversimplifying this but all I'm really doing is trying to convince myself that it's okay to turn 30 and still be making major changes to your life ;)

BUT readers, what do I really know? I mean, I'm just a twenty-something year old.. haha 

Tuesday, 1 November 2016

It's Been A While

Blog comeback a real thing?

Last year, when I put my blog on a break I honestly thought it would be for a few weeks, 3 months tops but then life happened..

It sounds dramatic for me to say this year has changed my life forever but it would really be inaccurate to pretend I am the same person I was there. So I'm going to do a really quick catch up and I'll probably expand on it in my upcoming posts.

1. I used to live in Durban, I've relocated back to Cape Town and this time it feels different. I'm more comfortable and independent and ready for the magical mess that is Cape Town to engulf me.

2. I moved from Durban because of work but also, my neighbor's domestic worker and her husband arranged for mg neighbour to be robbed and she was subsequently suffocated to death during the robbery. I thought this was the absolute worst thing that could happen and the fear of living a city I wasn't comfortable in and a complex where the security was already compromised was too much for my nerves. For months I was a bag of nerves and was commuting to my parents on a weekly basis.

3. My nephew was born! He is the most adorable little boy and he just keeps stealing more and more of my heart.

4. My beautiful car started giving me issues. It's like the car just started pushing me away and after fights with the manufacturer I negotiated terms, cut my losses and sold it.

5. In Number 2, I said I though this was the worst thing that could happen or at the very least the very worst thing that could happen this year. I was wrong. On the 12th of July, my 26 year old cousin, who was basically my little brother with the most beautiful soul was taken away from us. He passed away after suffering heart failure at home. This, this is what has practically broken me. I'm in the very messy middle of pushing through the mourning and grief period.

So that's me, in a nutshell. Well of course I also went to the Czech Republic and Italy for Christmas and New Years and I'll be sure to share some travel stories if you'd like to hear them... so I am putting myself out there(here) again and am going to try writing myself to a better place.

So please come find me on all the different social media platforms :Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Snapchat on Nats21J. I plan on updating my about me page shortly. 

I'm extremely excited and nervous to be back and for you to be here with me now... I look forward to reacquainting myself with my readers so please tell me what's been going on with you? Also if you're a blogger leave your page or social media links for me in the comments.

Welcome back!