By Thirty You Should... blah blah blah

I turn 30 years old in the next few weeks. Technically, next year, like ten weeks from now. It almost physically pains me to say that not just the back ache that must be coming with age (or actually the nasty fall I had a couple of years ago) but emotionally pains me. When people meet me or whenever I mention my age people are always shocked to find out my age. Most would say "What? You look about 23".I know a lot of people say things like this to be kind but I genuinely believe them because I think I just stopped aging around 23 (can this please hold off for the next 20 years! I feel like one day I'll wake up and realize how time has finally caught up with me and I went from a 29 year old looking 23 to a 29 year old who looks 40! Then I have a mini monologue prepared for myself wherein I remind myself that both my parents and all my grandparents have aged gracefully and I use sunblock so surely, I should be able to age a very slow but beautiful pace, right?

Source

I digress. What I intended discussing in this post is that I watched my closest friends and cousins turn the BIG 3-0 and all of them went through slight panic attacks regardless of what stage of their lives they were in. Now, now, I went through my quarter life crisis at 25 and it was tough but this feels different and although I thought I was avoiding the usual 30s paranoia of "is my life good enough?" I find myself reading or pinning almost every article there is to offer about how you should be doing by the time you hit 30.

To be honest, I am not doing that badly considering the global standard of what life should be like at (almost) 30 in the emotional/financial realm. Where I am lacking is the physical (I still can't do a yoga head stand) or the family department (still single and childless here) but then I had this epiphany we'll call it... who the hell cares if I am as fit as JLo is at 40 plus or whether or not I'm on tinder or not or if I have managed to make it to this milestone without falling pregnant "accidentally" or not. My 26 year old cousin didn't even get a shot at getting to 30 so why should I complain about the things that I have not yet done or the goals I have not accomplished when I can celebrate just getting through my twenties which no one is guaranteed to do?

Please don't misunderstand me when I say "who cares?" have goals, smash them out of the park BUT don't feel depleted by the fact that you are not "where you are supposed to be".  The lesson I've been learning (and I'm still trying to get better at it) is to not get caught up in where I am supposed to be or who I am supposed to be or what I should have been able to do by now but rather,  I ask myself these questions;

1. Are you happy, all things considered, with who you are?

2. Are other people happier when you are round?

3. Are you making healthier choices for yourself?

Most days I just need two "yes" answers to know I'm doing okay. 

I may be oversimplifying this but all I'm really doing is trying to convince myself that it's okay to turn 30 and still be making major changes to your life ;)

BUT readers, what do I really know? I mean, I'm just a twenty-something year old.. haha 

It's Been A While

Blog comeback a real thing?

Last year, when I put my blog on a break I honestly thought it would be for a few weeks, 3 months tops but then life happened..

It sounds dramatic for me to say this year has changed my life forever but it would really be inaccurate to pretend I am the same person I was there. So I'm going to do a really quick catch up and I'll probably expand on it in my upcoming posts.

1. I used to live in Durban, I've relocated back to Cape Town and this time it feels different. I'm more comfortable and independent and ready for the magical mess that is Cape Town to engulf me.

2. I moved from Durban because of work but also, my neighbor's domestic worker and her husband arranged for mg neighbour to be robbed and she was subsequently suffocated to death during the robbery. I thought this was the absolute worst thing that could happen and the fear of living a city I wasn't comfortable in and a complex where the security was already compromised was too much for my nerves. For months I was a bag of nerves and was commuting to my parents on a weekly basis.

3. My nephew was born! He is the most adorable little boy and he just keeps stealing more and more of my heart.

4. My beautiful car started giving me issues. It's like the car just started pushing me away and after fights with the manufacturer I negotiated terms, cut my losses and sold it.

5. In Number 2, I said I though this was the worst thing that could happen or at the very least the very worst thing that could happen this year. I was wrong. On the 12th of July, my 26 year old cousin, who was basically my little brother with the most beautiful soul was taken away from us. He passed away after suffering heart failure at home. This, this is what has practically broken me. I'm in the very messy middle of pushing through the mourning and grief period.

So that's me, in a nutshell. Well of course I also went to the Czech Republic and Italy for Christmas and New Years and I'll be sure to share some travel stories if you'd like to hear them... so I am putting myself out there(here) again and am going to try writing myself to a better place.

So please come find me on all the different social media platforms :Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Snapchat on Nats21J. I plan on updating my about me page shortly. 

I'm extremely excited and nervous to be back and for you to be here with me now... I look forward to reacquainting myself with my readers so please tell me what's been going on with you? Also if you're a blogger leave your page or social media links for me in the comments.

Welcome back!

I'll be seeing you...

It breaks my heart to have to put this blog, this space, my space on break but the truth is that I am neglecting it more I ever have neglected anything and because I love this space and blog community I feel that I have to officially stop blogging for now. 

You see, it's not that I don't have anything to say, I just don't have time to say it and when I do have time to type up whatever is on my mind, it's that I don't have time to tweak it and and make it pretty or anything like that and while I could just keep clicking on publish just to get myself out there, I didn't start blogging just to be heard, I started blogging to be me. 

I have repeatedly said that I started blogging to express myself and when I started blogging and really engaged with the blog community I found out that blogging here in South Africa is totally different to other places, especially the US and that's not a bad thing it's just a thing...

So, I think that CTP will be on a break until early 2016. I thought about closing this blog own and then opening a new one when I felt like it but I really like this space, this name and this community. I think I follow a lot of my blogger friends on different social media platforms and I'll continue to read all about what you are sharing on your blog but for now, I need this break. I need to not feel guilty that I am not consistently sharing with you guys and I need to take the time out for myself and my blog. I want this to be a space which represents me and right now it's not.

Okay, enough with making excuses... I'll be seeing you...

If you feel like keeping in touch please do so on Twitter or Instagram please do!

Literary Ladies - Challenge Over

Ladies (and gentleman) I woke up this morning a little groggy and bemoaning my early morning but suddenly, I dare say, things started falling into place. I remembered my dad is still visiting with me, I was starting the squat 30 day challenge (and have subsequently added in the ab challenge) and that I actually completed the literary ladies Summer reading challenge.

I first mentioned it here and I updated you in July and then August. I actually completed it about two days after my last check in but I read a few more books so I decided to change up my reviews and share the most appropriate and/or the books I liked most. I'm so excited about this so let's get into it!

1. A YA book - To All The Boys I've Ever Loved by Jenny Han 

I initially said I would be reading Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell but I didn't have a chance to get a copy and I didn't like the narrator's voice for Audible. 

To All the Boys I've Loved Before by Jenny Han
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I'm not sure if I'm being a bit generous with the rating of 4 stars but the truth is, I really enjoyed this story, Laura Jean grew on me as well as her sweet family. I'm not exactly taken with the perfection of Margeux but I found the rest of the characters endearing in their own ways. Kitty is definitely the show stealer with her sweet mischievous yet helpful ways... Can't wait to read the next installment

View all my reviews

2. Non- US Author - What Alice Forgot by Alice Moriarty

Initial choice By Any Means by Kurt Ellis same reason as above, I couldn't get a physical copy but there was no audible book option for this one... Oops!

What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I think this book was/is slightly overrated but at the same time the things I loved about it I really loved. It got me thinking where would I be in 10 years time and how easily things change. I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about this book but I didn't hate it...

The one thing I will say is the first half of the book dragged and I don't understand the huge relationship Alice has with a certain friend it's actually a bit weird

View all my reviews

3. A Book Recommended by a friend or blogger - Where We Belong by Emily Giffin

Recommended by Kate and I loved it.


Where We Belong by Emily Giffin
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I LOVED this book! It was a little slow in the beginning but once we got a quarter of the way in I just wanted to spend all my time reading (which I couldn't) but Kirby is a lovely lead character as well as Marian. To follow the natural progression of their relationship was touching. My only criticism would be that I wish there was an epilogue or something because I just want to know how the characters developed and where they ended up.

View all my reviews

4. A book from my TBR list  for more than a year-  Revenge Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger

I was supposed to read I am Malala by Christina Lamb and Malala Yousafzai, I don't have a reason why I swapped this one out but I will read it one day, soon!


Revenge Wears Prada: The Devil Returns by Lauren Weisberger
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

This book was disappointing, I was so excited when I realized I hadn't read the follow up to The Devil Wears Prada but I'm also glad I didn't until now. If I wasn't listening to this book I probably would have stopped or read at an extremely slow pace. I'm not sure why Lauren Weisberger choose to write this book because pretty much anyone who enjoyed the first book (or the movie) wouldn't have really appreciated the complete change in style of this novel. Sad because the revenge of Miranda Priestly had the potential to be best chick lit ever.. Instead it's just ... Blah

View all my reviews

5. A kickass Female Lead  - Seamless by R.L Griffin


Seamless by R.L. Griffin
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

What a brilliant way for this series to end. The evolution of the characters was seamless. Although I thought this last installment would be a predictable end but it was anything but. I am so sad that this series is done because Stella, George, Patrick and Millie have become part of my everyday life at times they almost drove me to drink right along with them but for the most part they were just good people. Love Love Love!

View all my reviews

6. A book that will be/ is a movie or show - Paper Towns by John Green

I did in fact, read Diary of Wimpy Kid and included in my previous reviews but I really didn't enjoy it so I am blocking it out from my memory! haha

I recently watched the movie but I'll save that review for another day..


Paper Towns by John Green
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I didn't love this book, to be honest I'm not sure I really liked it either... It's strange because I don't want to be the odd one out not absolutely loving Quentin and Margo and all the extras but I just felt like I've met these characters before in so many other books and movies and I just don't think there was anything particularly special about this story. I of course will watch the movie but this may be one of those rare gems where the movie will exceed the book's expectation... I'm sorry John Green but this just didn't do anything for me.

View all my reviews

7. A book written by a comedian or celebrity - Going off Script by Giuliana Rancic

I was't sure if I would read this one or Kris Jenner and all things Kardashian and being the overachiever (I wish I really was) I read both!


Going Off Script: How I Survived a Crazy Childhood, Cancer, and Clooney's 32 On-Screen Rejections by Giuliana Rancic
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

To be honest I wasn't sure if reading this would make me hate G, I'm happy to say that isn't the case.
This isn't a book which the celebrity is fluffy and fake about her feelings, G shares personal stories and more insight into her life and her heartaches over lost pregnancies as well as the joy of her husband. I loved her and Bill before reading this but the truth is after this I respect them so much more for sharing their story. Giuliana is beautiful, naughty and an inspiration ...

View all my reviews

8. One Word title -  Grey  by E.L James


Grey by E.L. James
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

In some ways EL James achieves her goal by letting the reader understand more of why Christian is the way he is but on the other hand, it's strange because Christian is "50 shades of F*%#ed up" and seeing things from his POV is odd. I found it difficult to remember the story from Ana's POV because I read the first book so long ago but at times it felt like the story didn't link up however I could be wrong about that..

View all my reviews

9. A suspense or thriller - The Good Girl by Mary Kubica

 This book I found by accident and really enjoyed it! I am still reading Big Little Lies but it's taking a while.


The Good Girl by Mary Kubica
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I really enjoyed this story, it had mixed reviews which made me skeptical but I immersed myself in this story and characters and loved it. It's suspenseful, interesting and at times extremely realistic.

View all my reviews


10. A title with the word "Summer" in it - The Boys of Summer by CJ Dugan


The Boys of Summer by C.J. Duggan
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Technically it's a 4.5 stars rating.. I really enjoyed this book, I got it for free from Amazon so I wasn't sure what it would be like but I loved it.

View all my reviews



I just want to take a moment and really appreciate this challenge set by Kay, Kristin and Kari. I loved every second of it and I am super proud of completing it.

So tell me, what have you been reading recently?

Let's Be Real

I can't believe how my laptop not working has really messed around with my blogging schedule and my life in general. Isn't it insane how much we depend on technology? I, of course say this to you via some means of technology - the irony is not lost on me. 

The truth is, and this is what I intend to discuss today, is that our online personas are so far from who we are in real life that at times I think we spend more time worrying about "Will this make a good picture?" "Should I blog about this?" "Will my readers want to know this?" "Will they still like me?". My last question is the biggy. WILL YOU STILL LIKE ME?

The internet has become such a huge part of who we are and how we communicate that it's only fair that we should care about our online image as much as we do our real life image but and here's where I'm going with this thought process... shouldn't the two images be the same, or somewhat aligned?

People in your real life don't get to see the filtered/edited version of who you are and you know what, most of the time they like you anyway. I think it's incredibly important for us to align our online personas with the real person. I think I shared the article about the guy who was flying all around the world to sit down for coffee with all his Facebook friends and of course I think that is an incredible idea but it got me thinking.. do I even want to have coffee with some of my Facebook friends? Sometimes I see photos being posted on my timeline and I honestly have no idea who it is in that photo I am supposed to know. Am I alone in this?

Also, I think when I was younger I used to add everyone on Facebook or accept friend requests if we had a few mutual friends but the truth is now I am so reserved and try to limit new friends because I don't want people in my business AND then it hit me.. then your business probably shouldn't be put out there. So it's not. I have resisted sharing my new work related developments with my online community and resisted sharing details of being an employer as opposed to an employee and I've resisted sharing my frustrations as well as my joys. 

So I think, I need to really work on aligning my online persona with my real life one (which shouldn't be too challenging because I have been so silent online) but also I think I need my real life personality to start shining through a little bit more. 

In upcoming posts, which I have yet to plan, I will share what's on my mind and really get back into blogging or facebooking or instagramming or tweeting because I want too and because I have something to say not because I feel pressured to share the perfectly filtered version of who I think you want to see. 

Whoa! That was a heavy post for a Friday but it is Friday! Tell me what's your weekend looking like?

Snapchat Update : August Edition

So you know I have been missing blogging but it's been such a challenge to do it from my phone but I really wanted to share some of what's been going on in my life and the easiest way is to share highlights from the month... I could share all the pretty filtered options but that's not necessarily what's been going on in my life so I thought I may as well show the truth! 

A visit with Brielle

Lovely woollies Tea

QT "Me" time 

Loads of good food 

Beach walks

Night Markets

A visit from a fellow joburger and long time friend 

My favorite drink 

Cousins #LongHairDontCare

What an athlete!

Gangs Of Ballet Performance

Deserved huge daiquiri 

Trying to change the windshield wipers!

What my "office" has looked like...

Long days!

Trip to Joburg and girls night out! 

Surprise morning visits 

FriYay drinks!

Feeding the ducks with my person and munchkin ;)

Love that she's walking now ... 

Happy girls!

Family day at the fair!

Coming home (begrudgingly)

 Girls Night Out - Toni Braxton & Babyface! 

Looking back on August, I got to spend a lot of time with my family which is awesome and I seem to be drinking a lot more #ImNotEvenSorry but also in eating healthier #BalanceIsKey and lastly I seem to be catching the best moments of the sunsets... 

What did your August look like?

PS: Again, I'm posting from my phone so I apologize for the crappy set up! 

Spring Spring Spring!!!!

I love the beginning of new seasons and it's officially that in South Africa today! 

There's just something about spring that makes everything seem like it will be okay!

I'm looking forward to this "S" month Spring, September, Success ... 

What's your plans for this month? 

x Nats x

PS: My laptop is still being sorted out so still posting from my phone.... Sorry for the horrible format ! 

Literally Ladies - Part Two

Ladies I cannot believe another month has passed into this challenge (or at all, really) because it feels like I was just deciding whether I wanted to join the challenge or not just the other day and now... Well now... I've just about finished it! I can't believe I've read 10 well actually I've read more than 10 but I'm still finishing off 2 categories.. 

Also, slight disclaimer for this crappy set up. My laptop is acting up so I'm posting off my phone which means I can't share links to the link up or my previous posts until I get back on to it properly. But I am linking up with Kay, Kari and Kristen! 

So from where I was last time, I've read the following:

1. Paper Towns by John Green this may be swapped into my previous lists for the YA category but I haven't made my final decision.

Paper Towns was totally not what I expected it to be and tbh I was slightly disappointed. It felt as if I've read this story or watched this movie a million times. The geeky boy next door obsessed over the hot girl next door  who used to be friends and then there's a reconnection of some type etc... I found Quentin just downright annoying  with his obsession with Margo and I found I wasn't even rooting for him. I will though, of course go watch the movie because you know... FOMO! 

2. What Alice Forgot by Lianne Moraity... This book was boring me and surprising me simultaneously. Strange I know, but the thing that kept pulling me into it was thinking, "What would my life be like in 10 years time?" It's so odd to think at the natural progression and regression of some relationships and how we don't think anything in our lives will change and then it does. Coincidentally I didn't understand the whole level of how huge Gina's friendship was to Alice and how she could even take her "memories" as her own. I found it bizarre. 

3. Grey by EL James this was surprising too, I thought I would have somewhat enjoyed it because I enjoyed the 50 Shades series but for the most part I didn't! I'm sorry to all the 50 shades fans out there but seeing things through Christian's eyes didn't make me comfortable at all. 

So it seems like I haven't enjoyed my last few books but that isn't true I am truly enjoying them I think it's just because I'm reading so much that my level of expectations is so much higher. 

Also I will tell you I'm very close to finishing Where we belong by Emily Giffin and I am LOVING it! 

That being said, it's 20 minutes later, my laptop is still frozen (not good news) and I have to get back to work! Have an awesome weekend and tell me about your views on the books I've read... Or recommend something and make it good ;) 

Don't forget to check in with the other ladies doing the link up and I'll update this post soon with pics and links and buttons! 

X nats